my Love is Birthday today (Late Post supposed to be Jan 31,2015)

EVD is my husband's initial..

Setiap moment sejak kami married seperti: Ultah, Anniversary, Valentine, Imlek pasti kami rayakan... untuk ultah, anniversary dan valentine adalah hari di mana kami berlomba untuk memberikan surprise... feel so happy...

and we try to keep this habit until we get old...

bahkan saat our boys (Boomer, Looker, Tooter, Cooper) bday pun, kami selalu merayakannya...
Karena saya selalu berpikir semua moment itu harus di rayakan, di nikmati dan di lakukan sepenuh hati just like we are going to die tomorrow...

so I Hope....

Ahoy...

I said "today is one of my Judgement day"

Never come out in my mind I will do this again.. only to get what I really want in my life right now. I really want to have my own baby so something that I passed long time ago, I have to pass it again.. doing any doctor's control  fro beginning... Usg, HSG, etc...

even I have to swept my tears all over again, especially when one of the doctor said it's impossible doing IVF 'cause the adenomyosis.. He said just like he want to tell me, pls do not wasting your time and your money doing something impossible to do.. ow sorry.. not just like he want to but he really said it frontal in front of nurse and young doctor to me.. so can you imagine what I felt at that time? still.. I tried to smile and act like its ok and fine to me..

So,
I did it, I did just now HSG for the second times in my life and through it again.. once again.
it quite painful but I through it before and never mind if I have to through it once again..

The result?
Wait when I see the doctor next week...

Ahoy...